I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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