So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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