you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
