I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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