she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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