I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
