Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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