I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
