i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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