My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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