we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
