Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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