return my video game
nut hugger
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
