Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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