i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
