I CAN MOONWALK!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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