You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize