someone get that fucking seahorse.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
