just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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