you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
