Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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