and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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