Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
