Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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