is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize