I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
