found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
