Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
