I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
now i know why i became what i already was.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
