You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
