Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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