There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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