Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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