Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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