I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Randomize
