I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
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Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My ass is underappreciated
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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