Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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