Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt

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  (989): I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt http://tfl.nu/o754
  Replies (7) Good night (2792) Bad night (1252)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.

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  (303): I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better. http://tfl.nu/9eyu
  Replies (23) Good night (5577) Bad night (706)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.

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  (775): Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy. http://tfl.nu/sqr0
  Replies (20) Good night (1228) Bad night (4663)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth

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  (206): tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth http://tfl.nu/91m9
  Replies (16) Good night (1491) Bad night (3425)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

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  (804): she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off. http://tfl.nu/ypig
  Replies (27) Good night (5914) Bad night (958)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.

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  (720): Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him. http://tfl.nu/sxwx
  Replies (8) Good night (1022) Bad night (3329)
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  (925): View more from California

  Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'

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  (925): Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots' http://tfl.nu/c9v2
  Replies (4) Good night (2928) Bad night (711)
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  (530): View more from California

  i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome

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  (530): i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome http://tfl.nu/b710
  Replies (10) Good night (1972) Bad night (631)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.

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  (414): If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg. http://tfl.nu/31ua
  Replies (2) Good night (1316) Bad night (643)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.

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  (314): Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night. http://tfl.nu/wauu
  Replies (5) Good night (456) Bad night (885)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida

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  (616): dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die (1-616): that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida http://tfl.nu/3jsk
  Replies (6) Good night (1169) Bad night (480)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.

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  (757): I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am. http://tfl.nu/vke9
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'

  (614): View more from Ohio

  omg so drunk

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  (614): I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen' (614): omg so drunk http://tfl.nu/cinp
  Replies (0) Good night (401) Bad night (237)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.

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  (954): I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume. http://tfl.nu/djyj
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (205)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me

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  (240): I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me http://tfl.nu/mac9
  Replies (3) Good night (589) Bad night (209)

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