Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?

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(440): View more from Ohio

Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."

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(850): View more from Florida

ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of

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(253): View more from Washington

I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?

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(940): View more from Texas

Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.

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(530): View more from California

i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something

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(314): View more from Missouri

I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.

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