being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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