Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.

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  (310): i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details. http://tfl.nu/0mu6
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (2212)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie

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  (607): I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie http://tfl.nu/m38d
  Replies (7) Good night (1311) Bad night (2337)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar

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  (913): all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar http://tfl.nu/vsuv
  Replies (1) Good night (2820) Bad night (1339)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.

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  (813): Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature. http://tfl.nu/pp7x
  Replies (16) Good night (1881) Bad night (1033)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."

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  (402): You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated." http://tfl.nu/111j
  Replies (2) Good night (1269) Bad night (819)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight

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  (302): I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight http://tfl.nu/n5g0
  Replies (6) Good night (850) Bad night (569)
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  (925): View more from California

  I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great

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  (925): I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great http://tfl.nu/slai
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (825)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course

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  (239): Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course http://tfl.nu/4x8m
  Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (358)
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  (510): View more from California

  So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.

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  (510): So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor. http://tfl.nu/fpi2
  Replies (1) Good night (961) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.

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  (303): It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address. http://tfl.nu/4jnm
  Replies (6) Good night (454) Bad night (761)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.

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  (917): Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it. http://tfl.nu/mn53
  Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (283)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.

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  (954): He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around. http://tfl.nu/uxp2
  Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray

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  (518): My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray http://tfl.nu/pftj
  Replies (7) Good night (675) Bad night (730)
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  (055): View more from

  Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore

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  (055): Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore http://tfl.nu/06vj
  Replies (5) Good night (573) Bad night (273)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.

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  (361): I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/ovfn
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (273)

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