Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
