i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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