He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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