I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
