she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
