Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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