What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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