There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
