bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
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