You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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