ADVERTISEMENT

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.

  Fav 32 1623 3881

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

  Fav 3 2878 1601

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.

  Fav 6 4553 1516

  share tweet
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay

  Fav 5 1127 2196

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.

  Fav 16 1530 963

  share tweet
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it

  Fav 4 1384 807

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (563): View more from Iowa

  As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...

  Fav 6 3296 860

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.

  Fav 2 620 807

  share tweet
  

• (434): View more from Virginia

  I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.

  Fav 6 2540 758

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.

  Fav 16 809 1249

  share tweet
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.

  Fav 4 639 387

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.

  Fav 3 331 268

  share tweet
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.

  Fav 0 67 14

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.

  Fav 0 25 30

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion

  Fav 0 77 13

  share tweet
  

Randomize