Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize