i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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