...so i touched it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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