is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
