the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
