Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
then he tried to convert me to islam
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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