Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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