i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
